Every day, I find numerous reasons to say, "Sorry, it's my stupid mom brain." Asinine comments are unavoidable landmines and thoughtless actions are the norm. A few days ago, I even left Darla inside to grab the groceries from the driveway (don't worry, it was only about three feet from the house). I heard the door slam behind me and I thought, "oh no! What if I accidentally locked it?" I calmed down a second later when I thought; "don't worry, I can figure out a way to get Roy (dog) and Darla (5 month old baby) to coax it open." I stopped walking, frozen by my own stupidity. Luckily, the door wasn't locked. I didn't want to have to test my dumb theory.
I know I'm not the only one who has such absurd thoughts. Every mother I've come in contact with has had those moments where, after they pay a bill, they wonder how the hell they could've thought that 3 + 8 =12. Some even say it's a scientific fact that a woman's brain shrinks by 20% after she gives birth. More recent research has found that a woman's intelligence may expand after, but factors such as sleep deprivation and distraction might lead her to act with a certain amount of idiocy.
As you can tell, lack of sleep has led me to behave thoughtlessly, which is why I worried over how I would handle my first day back at the bakery. Would the customer's have to witness my "mom brain" first hand? Could I maintain my cool? Of course not!
I started the day off great. I frosted cakes in record time and helped customers with very little problems. I had hit my stride. Then, everything changed when a man and two women came to the counter.
The man asked how Tom Colicchio was involved in the bakery. I said he was Erin's mentor. He said he knew his wife. I asked if she had her baby, yet. He said she had about five months prior.
"Like me!" I exclaimed.
"We had one three months ago!" said the man's wife.
It was all over after that. When two new moms meet, we only know how to talk about babies. We compare sleeping habits. We exchange soothing techniques. And, most importantly, we ask to see pictures. We do this with the secret hopes that the other mother will ask to see our pictures. All we really want to do is show how truly adorable our babies are.
I asked to see her son. She showed me her cutie pie and I gushed over his full head of hair. I was thoroughly impressed. After she put her phone away, the transaction was complete. I handed over their baked goods. They were about to leave when her husband said something that sealed my fate. He whispered, "Ask to see a picture of hers."
The woman asked hesitantly, knowing that I probably didn't have them at the counter with me. She was right!
In a flash, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed my iPhone to show her Baby Darla. I made the mistake of unplugging my phone, which was also the bakery's iPod at the moment. There was nothing but silence. In a bakery, nothing sounds louder than that. Then, my phone froze. I looked up to see the couple giving me nervous glances as the other counter girl finished wrapping up the next order for me to ring up. My time for this transaction had run out.
"You don't need to see a picture," I yelled over the silence. "Just envision a fat balding man and you've got the gist of it."
The customers left and I turned the music back on using my (now unfrozen) phone. I decided then and there that I needed to practice some restraint when it came to showing off pictures of Darla. I resolve to do that just as soon as I show you this super cute video of her!